Friday Night consolevania – Civilization VI – Part III

Friday Night consolevania – Civilization VI – Part III


[Sean Bean] “… shared by both religions in harmony, which would be a grand idea. “It should remain a secular building, honouring both religions, who have made it beautiful.” Thanks, Sean. I built a Wonder, so that other guy’ll get raging. There he is. He likes to build Wonders, so he gets raging every time I build a Wonder. It’s a bit petty, innit? For a, what is now a 5000-year-old man. Anyhoo. Welcome to Friday Night Consolevania. This is Civilization VI. Sorry if you don’t like the Civilization VI updates. I’m wrapping up this playthrough in this video, though. And that’ll be that all done. I’ll be fresh and able to move on to something else. So we are just about to change – it’s 1917 AD. And I’m, fucking, all over the shop, because I’ve got, I think I’ve got nuclear fusion, but I’m also – my Cossacks are still running about, on horseback. I’m all over the shop. I’m starting to appreciate, you know, what resources I need to do this, and why I should have been pushing my religion in that direction, and why I shouldnae have sold off all of my fucking great works just because they were offering me… bits of… coal… ‘Cos I’ve not got any culture left now, so I’m playing catch-up with the culture. They’re among my favourite things, they wee animations when you build the Wonders, and the reason why I built that Wonder is ‘cos it’s got loads of slots for great works. Got all these great folk, and all they’re doing is just fucking sitting about the map doing nothing, ‘cos I’ve got nowhere to put the contents of their brains. I’ve been friends with Gilgamesh since the very start of the game. He’s the only one who hasnae fallen out with me. And it’s almost near, and – here he goes. As far as I can tell, he fell out with me because I sailed my submarine in his water. But I thought we could do that, ‘cos we were pals. And because he’s at war with me now, she’s at war with me. It’s really difficult to fi – I wish it would give you more, you know what I mean, explanation as to why they make these decisions, because me and Kongo have just been in and out of war dozens and dozens of times, and I’ve got nae idea why. ‘Cos I’ve only got, like, two military units, I think. I’m trying to concentrate on science and, er… … culture, and all that. Forgot the name of it, there. Forgot the name of the… human culture. So I’m on top of all the resources I need, I’m shooting ahead, I’m queueing everything up, I’m building – is this a neighbourhood I’m building, I think? I think that was a neighbourhood. So I feel like I’m on top of it, and I have got a relatively big territory. I think I have got the biggest territory in the… in this playthrough. But I think I’m miles behind everybody else. I feel like I’m really playing catch-up. Like, there I’ve just caught two of her spies. I ‘ve not even made a spy. That’s idiotic, now that I’ve said that. I should edit that out. That’s embarrassing. How can you not make a spy in Civilization, you f-… idiot? I’ve been too busy, building important pretty wee places for David Icke to come and lecture sheep in, and Combined Arms and Robotics. Mmm. So it’s been a very clumsy first playthrough. All these bastards trying to con me out of my… my culture. Nearly forgot the name of it again. I know what you’re up to! Get fucked. Look! They all want my paintings and my writings. Think I’m daft. The only chance I’ve got, I think. I’m building the space programme, but culture’s my only hope, and I think it’s a very slim hope, of victory. But you don’t always play to win, do you? Said the loser. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed soaking in the atmos, and I’ve got a real sense of the layers now. I don’t know if I’ll be ramping up the difficulty, but I’ll definitely be playing it again. If I’ve forgotten to say, I definitely do recommend Civilization VI. It is a premium purchase, but. It’s a whack of change. We got it for nowt, which doesnae happen very often. It’s a bit of an investment if you’re paying full price, but it’s definitely really deep, and thoroughly enjoyable. I love that, the… ‘Cos I can remember they battles taking place in that area of the map, with the barbarians. Hooray! Hooray for learning! I don’t remember that mummy fae the fight. I’m assuming that it isnae just the default resting state of every leader in Civilization VI that they’re a devious prick, ‘cos it might be, but it’d be nice to get some time off fae that fucking look on that cunt’s face, that I’ve been seeing for 4000 years. Cheer up, ya cunt! Ohhhhhhhhh. I mean, I might have started it… … AGES and AGES ago by starting that war, but, I mean, that was… … he should be over that by now. Go away, ya thief! Trying to thief all my goodies! The last time we had a scuffle – by scuffle I mean formal war… … he was a fucking riddy. I don’t know why he sued for peace, because he was running these military units just through my farmland and shit ditches. Took me three centuries to build they shit ditches. Aye. I’m well behind, and this cunt knows it. Sorry for swearing. This is still just the base game! There’s all they add-ons that you could try, eventually. Don’t know if I’ll ever have time to play all of that. It’s definitely rekindled my appetite for turn-based – it’s so easy to just have it running in the background. Easy, and very very dangerous. You can lose an hour or two incredibly easily. Look at they armoured units that The Kongo’s got up there! Just parading them along their lines. What have I done to deserve that? I’ve got fucking farmland and… crab fishermen. Calm down. Maybe I need to be more aggressive in my second playthrough, as well. Mrs France did keep warning me, essentially, that there was a lot of espionage going on, but I didn’t do anything about it, because I was a fud. Ah well. Second playthrough. Still enjoyed it, clumsy as it was. Oh, here we go. [Sean Bean] “From the dust to which our civilization first rose, so too shall we return. “As the light of our people fades to nothingness, we wonder if one will rise to rekindle our flame.” I got the good ending first time! There you go! Unbelievable. Would be him, wouldn’t it? Would be you, wouldn’t it, pal? I’ll see you in the next game. Aye, you. Bring your pal, as well. Have a good weekend.

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