Dir. Grigory Lomidze, 1961 Soyuzmultfilm
Scen. Ye. Agranovich, Art dir. Ye. Shukaev Attention! The editors are searching for
an experienced and resolute specialist For an important operation. [“Cut short & box in” Corporation] A specialist in the matter of love in Russia – We do not need one! Next! Specialist in storing bear meat.
– Oh… That’s not it. Next!. A great connoisseur of Russian icons of the twelfth century
and a caviar degustator. To hell with him. Next. specialty “Confusing issues”.
– I’m sorry, what? Confusing issues.
Okay. Send him to a medical examination. Okay. To the med-examination! “X-ray” “X-ray” “Boss” Sir, it’s time to drink your yogurt. Aha! Bob Sketch. 30 years old. Ambition: 300 Energy: 120. Conscience: around 0. Hello, Bob! ready for a little change of location … Immediately, expose, unmask. Subject… topic… Oh! Fidel Castro – disguised as a Chinese Native
and grandson of Mao Zedong. You fool! the topic for Moscow! The failure of seven-year period? Right – 5 thousand dollars. Close it! You cause a drought! I packed my cassettes. And got a stock of ink. So that I, in your newspaper, drag the dirt into the spotlights. I Bob Sketch, fire a shot with each sentence. I Bob Sketch have a tongue like pointed steel. Stronger than any military base. I’m an overseas reporter. I’m an overseas reporter. Touring Moscow. Good morning, comrades! Dear ladies and gentlemen,
when you look to the left. There is the outstanding monument
of Russian antiquity: The famous Moscow Kremlin. In the 14th century under Ivan Kalita
walls of oak logs were built
more than half a meter wide. The stone Kremlin
was build by Prince Dmitry Ivanovich. The foundation and the headers of the
stone plinth walls were made of white stone. St. Basil’s Cathedral
(The former Prokrovsky Cathedral). was built mid 16th century under Ivan 4,
and is the greatest monument of national architecture. Now, ladies and gentlemen, look to the right. Here you see the modern Moscow. The town is still under construction
and gets prettier every day. [Bus operating without a conductor] Extra! Extra! A scoop! A big strike action. Half of the Moscow transport system
works without conductors. Well done, Bob! The strikers demand a free trade… …and cowboy movies. Bring out a Special Edition! ‘Strike in the Soviet Union ” Interesting… Would there be chewing gum in here?
[Asperine, castor oil, headache tablets, purgenum] Ah, like that… Here you are! The only thing I can offer you is this. Thank you. Bob Sketch reports:
The Russians have nothing to chew on. Post that message
on the front pages of all newspapers! Ai-yai-yai! In Moscow, there is no chewing gum. Shut up, empty headed tin can! But of course, we need more solid data. Tell Bob:
I will double your reward. We need lively facts.
Clear? Understood. Facts! We need facts! Data! You’re understood! Here are the facts!!! Attention, attention! Strikoroba Corporation
shows you the typical architecture of Moscow. Here Moscow Cheryomushki –
South-West district of the capital. On the left of this monumental building You can spot some cranes,
intended for the restoration of this building. Moscovites believe that after careful painting
this house will stand for another hundred years. Good heavens! Good heavens! Oh… Well, this is not all interesting and nobody wants it. So we’d better have a peak into the Siberian taiga! We’ll start flooding the reservoir!
We’ll start flooding the reservoir! [Banner: …for Soviet energy plus]
[Concert by amateur participants] [Song Luchinushka]
[by a poet concrete worker] In a small livingroom a flame is lit and a young spinster is sitting at the window. a young spinster is sitting at the window. Young, handsome, with brown eyes. over her shoulders a blond braid. over her shoulders… Here is where one’s brotherly building
a hydroelectric power station. Actually, Russia is illuminated
in the mean time by that torch. Bravo, Bob, bravo! “Do not touch!” Bob, one switches over to
high voltage for the new lands. “Moscow – Tselinograd” Citizen tourist! We arrived. Further the train
will not go into the new lands. The new lands? Oh. The new lands. Where are those new lands There is nothing here. The new lands are a fiction, propaganda. In fact it’s empty space. Who are these? What is happening there? I got it! I understood! The new lands –
are a disguised military base. I’m Bob Sketch.
I am surrounded by Russian tanks! These insidious Russians
want to get rid of a dangerous witness. Your correspondent, your reporter will die… He died. Ah, I’m filled up with this lack of talent! Now, who’s going to take pictures
of the Russian secret weapons for me now!?! Hello, hello! Your reporter is actually still alive. Hello! Be quiet, you! I entered the Moscow Kremlin.
I have found a colossal cannon in the Kremlin. It’s directed to the west. Balls? Oh, those are nuclear weapons! Ladies and gentlemen! In front of you, you now see
the so-called Tsar Cannon, Cast by the master Andrei Chokhov in 1586. Her length is 5 meters 34 centimeters.
The caliber of the barrel is 89 centimeters. It’s weight is 40 tons. It has never fired. However, if needed… Idiot! The End
Subs by lemicnor & Eus,