Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, in A land there lived a teddy bear under the name of Winnie-the-Pooh Why, though, “under the name”? Because he had the name over the door and lived under it. One day Winnie-the-Pooh went out to the forest for a little bite. He could always do with a good bite. Besides, he was quite a poet and put together rhymes and even little songs in his free time. The songs went something like this: pahm-parham-parim-pam-sawdust! Pam-param-purum, my head! Pum-purum-karam, go whoop! Pum-puh-pum-pum… Scratch my head is what I do, do, do! Threre’s sawdust in it too, too, too! Even though it is so true, Things go whoop and cheer there too – and also huff and puff and wheeze. Why, I’m really not too bad at this! True! Life is pretty good to Wiinnie, always puts him in the mood for singing What keeps him busy shouldn’t matter, if he keeps on getting fatter. And he will keep getting fatter, as long as he remembers to eat on time. True! Tram-param, pah-pam, parabam-pam, pam-pah! Pum-purum, puh-puh-purum-puh, tram-pam-pah! Pum-purum, puh-puh-purum-pum… Prum-pupum, purum-pum-pum-pum… Pum, purum-pum, pum… That buzzing means something. A tree won’t buzz all on its own. Is someone doing the buzzing then? And why would anyone be buzzing unless they were a bee? That’s what I think. Why would there be such a thing as bees? It’s so they can make honey! That’s what I think. And why would they make honey? It’s so I can eat it! That’s what I think. Ahh! It’s a very funny thought that, if Bears were Bees, they’d build their nests at the bottom of trees. Ouch! Isn’t it funny how a bear likes honey? Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! I wonder why he does? Oh dear! So, Winnie-the-Pooh went round to his best friend Piglet who lived in a little house with a “Trespassers W.” sign ot it Not even Piglet himself knew who this “Tresspasser W” was. – Good morning, Winnie-the-Pooh!
– Morning, Piglet! I wonder… if you’ve got such a thing as a balloon about you? – What? A balloon?
– Yes. I just said to myself coming along: “I wonder if Piglet has such a thing as a balloon about him?” What do you want a balloon for? – Honey.
– What? – Honey. – But you don’t get honey with balloons!
– I do! And it just happened that Piglet had been to a party at Rabbit’s the day before and had two beautiful balloons: a blue one and a green one. Which one would you like? – It’s like this. When you go after honey, the great thing is not to let the bees know you are coming.
– Right. – Now, if it’s a green balloon, they might think it’s only just a leaf and not notice it.
– Right. And if it’s a blue balloon, they might think it’s just a part of the sky and not notice it either. Do you think they wouldn’t notice you underneath the balloon? They might or they might not. I’ll try to look like a small black cloud then. That should deceive them. Then you’d better have the blue balloon! My friend and I are on our way to somewhere really secret, I won’t let on, oh no I won’t, nor will my dear friend Piglet. Hold on. – Have you got an umbrella?
– An umbrella? I just thought, you see, if we should take an umbrella just to be safe? You can never tell with those bees. My friend and I are on our way to somewhere really secret, I won’t let on, on no I won’t, nor will my dear friend Piglet. Hold on. And hold this. Look! Now I’m just like a real black cloud. My friend and I are on our way to somewhere really secret, I won’t let on, oh no I won’t, nor will my dear friend Piglet. – Hold on?
– Not really. – Here. Blow up the balloon.
– Right. Right. Let go! – Hooray!
– Great, isn’t it? – Yes, what do I look like now?
– You look like a bear holding on to a balloon. – Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?
– Not very much. Well, perhaps from up here I look different. You never know with these bees. – Piglet!
– What is it? – I think the bees suspect something!
– What sort of thing? I don’t know, but they are acting suspiciously. Perhaps they think you are after their honey? – Piglet, they don’t seem to believe I am a black cloud.
– What shall we do? Open the umbrella and walk up and down with it. I’ll sing a Cloud Song… – and you will look up at me and say: “Tut-tut, looks like rain”.
– Right. It looks like rain! It looks like rain! It looks like rain! I am a little rainy cloud, and not at all a bear What clouds like best… is to float in the… air. – Ouch, Piglet!
– It looks like ra… What? I have just been thinking… and I’ve got it! These seem like the wrong sort of bees. Quite the wrong sort. And they’d make the wrong sort of honey! I’m… I’m coming down. – It looks like ra… But how?
– I haven’t yet thought about this. It looks like rain! – Piglet!
– What is it? – Have you got a gun at home?
– Bring it here – quickly! The sky is bluest blue, and clouds feel at home. Which should …explain the singing… that is going on. – Ouch, Piglet!
– I’m here!
– Shoot! – What do you think you’re shooting at?
– Why, the bees, of course! No, not the bees! You need to shoot down the balloon! But… If I shoot at the balloon, it’ll spoil it! – But if you don’t shoot, that would then spoil me.
– Right. – Ow-ow-ow! Ouch!
– Did I miss? Ouch! You didn’t exactly miss, but you missed the balloon. I’m so sorry. Winnie! Winnie! Winnie! Ooh! Pooh! Ooh! Pooh! And I think – but we can’t really say for sure – that’s how he got his name – Winnie-the-Pooh. Ooh! Phew! Isn’t it about time we had a bite though? I think it is. Well, that would be the end. The end of this story. But there are others! About Pooh and Rabbit, Piglet and the old grey donkey… and everybody else.